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Articles on this Page
- 07/26/15--22:12: _We’re Still Trying ...
- 07/31/15--11:46: _Especially When You...
- 08/04/15--09:07: _And Rain Man Could ...
- 08/05/15--14:40: _If You’re Typing Th...
- 08/07/15--12:21: _Pirates, Duh
- 08/11/15--12:19: _There's a Reason Yo...
- 08/25/15--20:45: _And Sleepy and Grat...
- 09/07/15--02:55: _Not Just Any Juices...
- 10/03/15--07:56: _He Does Freddies
- 10/30/15--04:25: _And While We’re on ...
- 11/07/15--20:04: _Soon I’ll Be Able t...
- 11/17/15--01:04: _You Also Need to Ha...
- 11/20/15--21:06: _10AM Fix Time Machine
- 01/04/16--22:43: _Well Said! You May ...
- 01/05/16--10:54: _People Who Can Affo...
- 01/07/16--12:04: _I Thought There Was...
- 01/11/16--07:47: _This Just Got Way T...
- 09/14/17--20:26: _Do We Even Sell That?
- 10/04/17--04:35: _5PM That’s a Wrap
- 04/06/18--10:14: _Not on My Watch
- 07/26/15--22:12: We’re Still Trying to Get the Pope to Stop Using the Abacus
- 07/31/15--11:46: Especially When You're Hung Over?
- 08/04/15--09:07: And Rain Man Could Tell Me How Many There Were
- 08/05/15--14:40: If You’re Typing That, Don’t Send It Right Away
- 08/07/15--12:21: Pirates, Duh
- 08/11/15--12:19: There's a Reason Your Nametag Says “Awkward Guy”
- 08/25/15--20:45: And Sleepy and Grateful?
- 09/07/15--02:55: Not Just Any Juices, Either — Don’t Do What I Did
- 10/03/15--07:56: He Does Freddies
- 10/30/15--04:25: And While We’re on the Topic, How Come You Never Call Me at Night?
- 11/07/15--20:04: Soon I’ll Be Able to Afford New Friends
- 11/17/15--01:04: You Also Need to Have Finished Third-Grade Math
- 11/20/15--21:06: 10AM Fix Time Machine
- 01/04/16--22:43: Well Said! You May Attend the Meeting for Me
- 01/07/16--12:04: I Thought There Was No Evidence Of IUDs!
- 01/11/16--07:47: This Just Got Way Too Zen
- 09/14/17--20:26: Do We Even Sell That?
- 10/04/17--04:35: 5PM That’s a Wrap
- 04/06/18--10:14: Not on My Watch
Techie: I’m sorry about the delay. We’re using a new system, and I liked the old system. I’m a creature of habit and resist change.Customer: Tell me about it; I’m with the Archdiocese. 555 International WaySpringfield, Oregon
Whiny cube dweller: But I just really enjoy my sausage in the morning, ya know? Coburg, Oregon
Coworker dissing fire-making skills on Survivor: I would learn to light a fire before I went. I would have to stick the matches up my cooch. Portland, Oregon
Coworker in response to email she just got: Oh my god, Sandy*, you stupid whore. Portland, Oregon Overheard by: other side of the cube
CEO, to no one in particular: So we're talking to this fucking prick up in Alaska, and I keep hearing this whistling. So I say “hey man, what the fuck is that noise? Turns out it's his fucking parrot, so I tell him to kill the fucker. Who has parrots? Portland, Oregon
Coworker: I made a conscious effort not to wear any perfume today in case it was causing you to sneeze, so if I stink, it's your fault.Conversation disruptor: I love your stink. Beaverton, Oregon Overheard by: Sneezy
Assistant: Wait, it doesn’t look like the data was deleted when you opened the program.Boss: What? I thought it was supposed to suck ’em off!Assistant: What?Boss: Suck ’em off! Suck ’em off until they’re empty! Portland, Oregon Overheard by: Working on my resume
Girl: Ummm… You need boy juices in order to make a baby. 610 BroadwayPortland, Oregon
Bond salesperson to trader: Yeah, Stew’s* pretty conservative. He doesn’t do Fannies. 1000 SW BroadwayPortland, Oregon
Guy on cell: I can hardly hear you. It sounds like you’re in a coffin. Beaverton, Oregon Overheard by: brian
Dude: All my meth addict friends are like, ‘That’s so cool. You have a job.’ Portland, Oregon
Worker: Yup, it takes a lot more than a million dollars to be a millionaire these days. Hermiston, Oregon
Boss: Does anyone need this 2005 calendar? Grunt: No thanks; my time machine is broken. 414 South Main Street Independence, Oregon
Male suit: Meetings are like suction cups. They stick to things and leave a lasting mark that's tough to clean off. They can be useful in some instances, though they almost always suck, and when they don't suck people try and make them suck in a different location.Underling: You forgot to add, though, that when […]
Frustrated coworker, about daughter with object in her ear: I am not rewarding her for putting something in her body! Tigard, Oregon
Elevator geek: An IUD is not a weapon. It's a contraceptive.Elevator cougar: Depends on who you ask. Portland, Oregon
Intercom: Hey, how do you spell Sarah with an “h”? Assistant: Yes. 3350 Tillamook Street Portland, Oregon Overheard by: Carrie Cole
Peon: Barry*, did you put a folder on my computer called ‘Horse porn’? Barry: No. Beaverton, Oregon
Voice on elevator emergency intercom: Hello? Hello? Confused woman who just got on: Um…..yes? Voice: Yes, I’m Karen* from American Express. Can I please speak with Shin Chen*? Woman: Um…No… You just reached an elevator. Voice: Oh! Well, thank you for using American Express. If you have any questions, please call 1-800-555-1234*. Thanks for using […]
Insurance coordinator on phone: I received your mold report and just for future reference, “caulking” is not spelled “c-o-c-k-i-n-g.” Portland, Oregon Overheard by: Kanee